Conquistador

It has been said:

" The only people who can do it are those who think they can."

I believed that I could and I did. Means a lot to me. It was high time that I got to where I am. Makes me feel................Believe in me................in what I can do.......................in what all I can acheive...........................doesnt seem so hard afterall.

Started slow but I did push.................and I toiled................but this is just the beginning.................just a scratch on the surface..................much needs to be done.................and do I shall...........................wait just a little while.....................you'll know.

Bright side

Its been a lot of pessimism these past few posts. There is a brighter side of life that sometimes we do not look at. It is there, for all of us to see and feel...to experience. There are good things in life. Things that u care about not because u have to but because u want to and no matter what happens...no matter what u go thru, u still care.

And care u should. Something must be there that u want to have, so badly that u'd do anything for it and no matter what happens, u stick to it, in rain or pain......you do not forget. It came to me while I was wondering that to have someone so special gives u a direction, and life does not seem so meaningless and dragging after all. Seems like you are wanted, cared for, and liked.

Doesn't mean that u go and find that someone and if u do not have that u don't have nothing. Just that even if u feel that there is no one like that, If u look around hard enough, u will find some hearts warmed by your presence, those who care for u without any demands and want u to be........happy. Yes, there are such someones for each and everyone of us.

There is much more to life than just all the hate and guilt and the drag we go thru, there is much much more to feel, to share, to see, to believe, but we just have to know when to look and where to look. The feeling of wind touching ur face, raindrops dripping off ur forehead, a little angel holding ur finger so it doesnt fall, hearing the sweet tune that u missed for so long, driving out to that spot with that special someone and being there..........just being there.

And all these...........make it all worth it..........make u want to stay.................make life worth living.

There and back again...

And the world does go around. Comes back and hits you when you least expect it. I do not know whether it is me or if it is this world, but something is definitely not right. I feel it, everyday, dragging on with me like that evil twin that you wish u never had, but its meant to be there with u. Don't really know why or how or when but it does cause a lot of things to happen, ones u do want to and the ones u most certainly dont.

Sometimes, I feel like i am in a cage and all those prowling eyes around me are just waiting for that one wrong move.It is just a matter of time when we'll find out who'll blink first ?

To someone over the fence, it seems so perfect and so quiet. But only the inmate knows that life here aint a walk in the park. You will get hit, you will face loads of crap, but you cant quit.

But why in the name the one should you take it? why? why cant u just give it all up and do what you want to do? Be with the ones you want to be with? Why? Why not?

Why cant i just move on with me? Why do I have to put up with the fallacies of the world? With the facade that it exhibits? Why cant I just get up and lay the smacketh down on everything i despise?

I guess it is just the chains that we have tied ourselves in. The binds that we cant break. The binds of love, of relationships, of companionship, of respect, of...fear
of losing all that we hold dear.

Damn you creator, for putting me in this jinx, now all i can do is bear it...atleast till it can go on.

its a drag !!!

knowing where u been in life and then u see urself now........how do u think it figures that this is what u have been wanting to do, wanting to be here and all u ever thought was it is gonna be good. but i think it is just that we are all so busted up from what has led to this that we r not able to see that which truly lies in this for us.........an oppurtunity to prove to us ......... what we can be and all that we can acheive.........its all out there , we just need to be strong enough to be in our frames when the time comes for us, its not what we are but who we are that is gonna tell where we go........we can drown us in booze and never look up and then we can party out all night but be there when it happens.......to hold it all for all to see and to prevail...............I will be there.........will u ???

It all comes back...

The same feeling..........of Deja-vu........or is it really back......all that u spent ur life looking for.....it was here all the time and now that u r not here.....it lies smack in front of u....asking u if the one who was missing all this time was it.....or u?

It is all so familiar, but the similarities cease to exist as soon as u get close.......its a different time......a different glass u are looking through........yet it all seems so familiar.......the smells, the feel, the look, the people..........not all of it is so good though..........

confusin and anarchy prevails........and u ask this question.....was this the life that u wanted so bad or is it the price u pay for not looking at what u had with u in ur hands when it was there?......

Life goes on...

It seems so usual and so ordinary that we can be all that we are........seems like a dream.......a waking dream.

Out of nowhere, a thought comes and screams the hell out of your own conscience, asking you to think about what can no longer be so simple. Something that could never have been, for we never looked at the possibility of this happenning.

But now it is upon us, and we are here with nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, just here. Now.

So what to do...who to call...where is the messiah? Why now ?