Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Stuck...

Its amazing how sometimes we wonder of what all wonderful things we could do with our time if only we had it. It is amazing sometimes how you wish that you had just that one more moment of time for yourself and then think of the things that you would do with that moment...

Strangely enough this never works...it never happens...you never "have" the time...It is always some important meeting or that one more minute of sleep...contrasting ways of letting time pass and then gruelling about the lack of it...

It is even more confusing when you have all the time in the world but nothing to do with it...Simply you are too deeply imbibed with the routine of the day that even getting some free time out of it creates a bit of a situation.What to do with this time now? Where to go? Who to call? What to do? And then simply it starts getting painstakingly crampy if you do not have anyone or anything to spend the time...Its simple yet very powerful on how routine can govern our lives.

The time you get up...the things you do then...the bus you take...the place you sit in the bus...the place you get down and walk to the destination...the people you see...the things you can feel around...the things to do...its all a routine...a constantly recurring phenomenon that just does not go away and it is so powerful that in the absence of the routine nothing seems to make sense...we wait and ponder on when the routine is going to be back...to throw us around...It comes back and so do the cravings for free time...

Ironic...

Friday, October 21, 2005

Creatures of Light

An endless trek...up the path of time...changing every passing moment...giving highs and lows...signifying "nothing".

Doers do their best to stay on track and those who do not stray away only to be ravaged and pillaged by the unknown terrain...sticking to the track makes sense in this way but it means that everything becomes monotonous and predictable...means the trek loses its sparks...means "nothing".

It does not always give you whyt you want but takes you tentalizingly close to it...so close that you feel "good"...but then you realise that what you were chasing all this time was a "mirage"...a mirage, of dreams, of hopes and endless contentment...but it goes away as the sick cycle ends...you are back on the trail and so is another mirage for you to chase...Putting a meaning to all this is difficult but it makes an ironic kind of sense for some to play this game of cat and mouse...something to keep you occupied...something to stop you from thinking about other routes...

Life is like that sometime...an endless figment...a desire, a craving of having something that is evading you...having something that you do not have and not wanting something that you do...The trail is yours but you do not want to follow it or more as well the trail does not want you to desert it...but you want a change...a new beginning...to an end that is just as sick as twisted as life itself.

Grudge...