Monday, March 10, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
The state of me
Now where do I begin...
A lot of things have been happening. Too many for any one person to control. And consequently, quite a few of them have spiralled out of control. I am trying my best to get a grip on these, but as always...something always goes wrong.
Its been ages since I have been satisfied with my life. Just when it seems that things are going great, something happens which brings the house down. And then when I think that things cant get any worse...they do. And here I am now, seemingly caught up in so many situations that I dont know how to divide my priorities between them. And the worst part of it all is...Im on my own.
I spend my time juggling what best I can...but some things are just beyond my control. And trying to make those things happen only brings more anguish, and disgust. Even inspite of my best efforts...things are not concluding. They continue going on and nuances keep creeping up here and there. Then more time has to be spent in solving them and the task drags forward...painstakingly...slowly.
I look at everyone else around me and see the happinness in their eyes. I try to find peace in the thought that this will be me someday. But I know in my heart of hearts that I have been chasing this dream for far too long...and now I just have to accept my fate and just live my life like it is, like it has always been...In a constant and never-ending state of uncontrollable flux.
I long for peace.
I long for calmness in my heart.
I long for just that one voice of respite which says "Im here for you. Everything will be fine."
But as I said, this has been a fleeting dream that I am trying too hard to hold on to.
Its best to just...let go.
A lot of things have been happening. Too many for any one person to control. And consequently, quite a few of them have spiralled out of control. I am trying my best to get a grip on these, but as always...something always goes wrong.
Its been ages since I have been satisfied with my life. Just when it seems that things are going great, something happens which brings the house down. And then when I think that things cant get any worse...they do. And here I am now, seemingly caught up in so many situations that I dont know how to divide my priorities between them. And the worst part of it all is...Im on my own.
I spend my time juggling what best I can...but some things are just beyond my control. And trying to make those things happen only brings more anguish, and disgust. Even inspite of my best efforts...things are not concluding. They continue going on and nuances keep creeping up here and there. Then more time has to be spent in solving them and the task drags forward...painstakingly...slowly.
I look at everyone else around me and see the happinness in their eyes. I try to find peace in the thought that this will be me someday. But I know in my heart of hearts that I have been chasing this dream for far too long...and now I just have to accept my fate and just live my life like it is, like it has always been...In a constant and never-ending state of uncontrollable flux.
I long for peace.
I long for calmness in my heart.
I long for just that one voice of respite which says "Im here for you. Everything will be fine."
But as I said, this has been a fleeting dream that I am trying too hard to hold on to.
Its best to just...let go.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
life...
Cuz its a bittersweet...symphony...this life...
Trying to make ends meet...we're slaves to the money...
...then we die...
Trying to make ends meet...we're slaves to the money...
...then we die...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Ground control to Major Tom...
Houston...bzzzzzzzzssshhhhh...we have a...bbbzzzzssssshhhhh...problem...bbbzzzzssshh...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Dazed...
I spend my days in a trance...
And nights wide awake...
Is it just me ? Or has everything lost meaning ?
And nights wide awake...
Is it just me ? Or has everything lost meaning ?
Sunday, January 28, 2007
The scariest part...yet...
I always thought that people are generally scared of things like ghosts and demons...and dark places.
But I have experienced...a new kind of scare.
This kind of scare does not frighten you like the others...but it does shake you to your core...and makes you loose the sense of what to say...It does not make you scream...but yet you are not at ease with yourself...
Yesterday, I talked to my prospective mother-in-law for the first time.
But I have experienced...a new kind of scare.
This kind of scare does not frighten you like the others...but it does shake you to your core...and makes you loose the sense of what to say...It does not make you scream...but yet you are not at ease with yourself...
Yesterday, I talked to my prospective mother-in-law for the first time.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Happy New Year ?
Another year gone by, another year waiting in the wings...
I am not sure whether I should be happy or sad...
It is the new year...
Time for fun, for trying out new things, for new beginnings.
...
But then again, its a whole new year.
How I wish it was December'07 now...How I wish...
I am not sure whether I should be happy or sad...
It is the new year...
Time for fun, for trying out new things, for new beginnings.
...
But then again, its a whole new year.
How I wish it was December'07 now...How I wish...
Monday, December 04, 2006
Love...
"My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I Love so alike
that none can slacken, none can die."
Tristan + Isolde
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres,
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I Love so alike
that none can slacken, none can die."
Tristan + Isolde
Friday, December 01, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Nothing works...
I tried a heavy dose of games the other weekend to get me out of this situation...Nothing works...Quake 4...Halo...NFS:Carbon...I dont feel like playing any of them right now...
This is going from bad to worse...I am missing her and the only thing that can cure me is being with her...and that is one thing that I am not able to do right now...
Ironically, I was the one who chose to come here in the first place...paradise...shamaradise...Its all useless...without her.
Will this pain ever stop ?
This is going from bad to worse...I am missing her and the only thing that can cure me is being with her...and that is one thing that I am not able to do right now...
Ironically, I was the one who chose to come here in the first place...paradise...shamaradise...Its all useless...without her.
Will this pain ever stop ?
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Why this ?
Dear Lord,
Please don't do this to me. I beg of you. What have I done to be deserving this ?
Please Lord...please...
Me.
Please don't do this to me. I beg of you. What have I done to be deserving this ?
Please Lord...please...
Me.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Our Deepest Fear...
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Nelson Mandela
Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Nelson Mandela
Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
The Land of the Blind...
When I first heard that we will be going to a restaurant in Zurich...I wasn't expecting much. Only when a friend of mine told me that we are going to 'The Blind Cow', did things start looking up.
'BlindeKuh' or 'The Blind Cow' is a very special restaurant in Zurich. Whats so special about this place ? Well, apart from the fact that the entire staff, sans the cheif cook and the Receptionist, are blind, there is one more twist to this place. The conceptualist of this place , Mr. Joerg Spielmann, is blind. The idea of making people sighted experience the world like a person with no sight, was what brought this restaurant into being in 1999.
The restaurant offers the experience of eating in the dark. And by dark, I mean pitch dark. No light sources are allowed into the restaurant. Cell phones, illuminated watches, lighters etc... are all dissallowed. Smoking is not permitted. The guests are let into the entrance hall, which is lighted, where they make their choice of food from the menu written on the wall. For blind guests, the menu is read out. Once decided, the receptionist calls out a helper, who is blind, and then he/she leads all the guests, in a bee-line formation, first into a partially dark room to aquaint the eyes and then into the completely dark main seating hall. The helper then tells you his/her name and then you have to call out the name in case you need anything. The only respite from the darkness are the restrooms, where also you are led to by the helper.
So I reached there with my friends around 7:15 pm. We made the choice from a three course menu, A starter, the main course and a dessert. We were asked to put all out cell phones, luminiscient watches, lighters etc...in a locker in the entrance hall. Then a helper was called out to guide us inside. Her name was Sabeena. Sabeena could not see. She asked us to make a bee-line formation, like kids in kindergarden, and follow her.
After reaching inside the main hall, one thing was clearly evident, the place was dark. Completely and totally dark. There was not even a glimmer of light from anywhere. The experience of being in such a place, where it does not matter whether your eyes are closed or open, is exhilarating. Sabeena showed us to out seats and we were seated. We checked our relative positions by talking to each other and listening to the reply. That was the only way of knowing where people were seated. We could hear other people, eating, talking, laughing, but we could not see a thing.
The next challenge was making sure we knew the placement of the knives and forks and glasses. Once that was memorized, it wasnt much difficult. Although at times, we did take each others drinks. Food came. But managing to eat with a knife and fork was a major challenge. So, most of us decided to ignore the etiquette and eat with out hands. It did not make much difference as we could not see each other anyways. Filling the glasses with drinks was another challenge.
Towards the end of the evening, we were completely in awe of the helpers who were able to negotiate through the place, remember everyone's orders, and the placement of items on the tables.
A very old story came to mind. A sighted man is lost and reaches the land of the blind. And understands the handicap of being too dependent on sight.
For anyone who wishes to visit the place, which I highly recommend, here are the details :
Blindekuh
Muhlebachstrasse
148 8008 Zurich
Switzerland
Tel: 01 421 50 50
Fax: 01 421 50 55
www.blindekuh.ch
The menu is a la carte. A dinner that includes starter, main course and dessert, costs about 50 EUROS. Drinks are extra.
The place is generally full, so make the reservations well in advance.
'BlindeKuh' or 'The Blind Cow' is a very special restaurant in Zurich. Whats so special about this place ? Well, apart from the fact that the entire staff, sans the cheif cook and the Receptionist, are blind, there is one more twist to this place. The conceptualist of this place , Mr. Joerg Spielmann, is blind. The idea of making people sighted experience the world like a person with no sight, was what brought this restaurant into being in 1999.
The restaurant offers the experience of eating in the dark. And by dark, I mean pitch dark. No light sources are allowed into the restaurant. Cell phones, illuminated watches, lighters etc... are all dissallowed. Smoking is not permitted. The guests are let into the entrance hall, which is lighted, where they make their choice of food from the menu written on the wall. For blind guests, the menu is read out. Once decided, the receptionist calls out a helper, who is blind, and then he/she leads all the guests, in a bee-line formation, first into a partially dark room to aquaint the eyes and then into the completely dark main seating hall. The helper then tells you his/her name and then you have to call out the name in case you need anything. The only respite from the darkness are the restrooms, where also you are led to by the helper.
So I reached there with my friends around 7:15 pm. We made the choice from a three course menu, A starter, the main course and a dessert. We were asked to put all out cell phones, luminiscient watches, lighters etc...in a locker in the entrance hall. Then a helper was called out to guide us inside. Her name was Sabeena. Sabeena could not see. She asked us to make a bee-line formation, like kids in kindergarden, and follow her.
After reaching inside the main hall, one thing was clearly evident, the place was dark. Completely and totally dark. There was not even a glimmer of light from anywhere. The experience of being in such a place, where it does not matter whether your eyes are closed or open, is exhilarating. Sabeena showed us to out seats and we were seated. We checked our relative positions by talking to each other and listening to the reply. That was the only way of knowing where people were seated. We could hear other people, eating, talking, laughing, but we could not see a thing.
The next challenge was making sure we knew the placement of the knives and forks and glasses. Once that was memorized, it wasnt much difficult. Although at times, we did take each others drinks. Food came. But managing to eat with a knife and fork was a major challenge. So, most of us decided to ignore the etiquette and eat with out hands. It did not make much difference as we could not see each other anyways. Filling the glasses with drinks was another challenge.
Towards the end of the evening, we were completely in awe of the helpers who were able to negotiate through the place, remember everyone's orders, and the placement of items on the tables.
A very old story came to mind. A sighted man is lost and reaches the land of the blind. And understands the handicap of being too dependent on sight.
For anyone who wishes to visit the place, which I highly recommend, here are the details :
Blindekuh
Muhlebachstrasse
148 8008 Zurich
Switzerland
Tel: 01 421 50 50
Fax: 01 421 50 55
www.blindekuh.ch
The menu is a la carte. A dinner that includes starter, main course and dessert, costs about 50 EUROS. Drinks are extra.
The place is generally full, so make the reservations well in advance.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
One of the best...
Saw Revolver.
Was impressed.
Comes from the same stable as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
The man behind them is Guy Ritchie.
Simply Brilliant...the man and the movies.
Go & Watch. ASAP.
Was impressed.
Comes from the same stable as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
The man behind them is Guy Ritchie.
Simply Brilliant...the man and the movies.
Go & Watch. ASAP.
Monday, July 31, 2006
A Concorde Moment...
The point :
"You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn’t in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you’d still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen."
Jeremy Clarkson - About the Bugatti Veyron
(Jeremy's Full review)
The Numbers :
Vehicle type: mid-engine, all-wheel-drive, 2-passenger, 2-door coupe
Base Price: € 1,000,000 (£810,000, 1,300,000 USD)
Engine type: quad-turbocharged and intercooled DOHC 64-valve W-16, aluminum block and heads, direct fuel injection
Displacement: 7998 cm³ (488 in³)
Performance ratings (C/D est):
Zero to 62 mph (100 km/h): 2.9 s
Zero to 100 mph (161 km/h): 6.0 s
Zero to 150 mph (241 km/h): 11.0 s
Zero to 200 mph (322 km/h): 22.0 s
Zero to 100 km/h: 2.8 s
Zero to 200 km/h: 7.3 s
Zero to 300 km/h: 16.7 s
Top speed (observed at governor): 253 mph (407 km/h)
Projected fuel economy (C/D est):
EPA city driving: 7 mpg U.S. (34 L/100 km)
EPA highway driving: 10 mpg U.S. (24 L/100 km)
Steady 253 mph (409 km/h): 2.1 mpg U.S. (112 L/100 km)
The car : The Bugatti Veyron 16.4
I am bamboozelled...and impressed...majorly impressed.
"You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn’t in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you’d still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen."
Jeremy Clarkson - About the Bugatti Veyron
(Jeremy's Full review)
The Numbers :
Vehicle type: mid-engine, all-wheel-drive, 2-passenger, 2-door coupe
Base Price: € 1,000,000 (£810,000, 1,300,000 USD)
Engine type: quad-turbocharged and intercooled DOHC 64-valve W-16, aluminum block and heads, direct fuel injection
Displacement: 7998 cm³ (488 in³)
Performance ratings (C/D est):
Zero to 62 mph (100 km/h): 2.9 s
Zero to 100 mph (161 km/h): 6.0 s
Zero to 150 mph (241 km/h): 11.0 s
Zero to 200 mph (322 km/h): 22.0 s
Zero to 100 km/h: 2.8 s
Zero to 200 km/h: 7.3 s
Zero to 300 km/h: 16.7 s
Top speed (observed at governor): 253 mph (407 km/h)
Projected fuel economy (C/D est):
EPA city driving: 7 mpg U.S. (34 L/100 km)
EPA highway driving: 10 mpg U.S. (24 L/100 km)
Steady 253 mph (409 km/h): 2.1 mpg U.S. (112 L/100 km)
The car : The Bugatti Veyron 16.4
I am bamboozelled...and impressed...majorly impressed.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Talk about getting it all...
I am really bugged about this now. What did the French do to be so lucky ?
Check what the Lucky B's get...
Check what the Lucky B's get...
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