Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Me? Understand? Nope?

I sometimes don’t understand the way people behave. Especially people in high places. I don’t understand the thought process. It doesn’t make much sense to me. I see beings that only are brilliant but also really good at heart…and also some who I can't understand. They are good at what they do. But I feel a strange kind of vibe whenever I try to get close. They just push away at the slightest things. Makes me wonder if life’s just for that…if that’s all that they wanna do with theirs…

I can't understand how beings can be in constant touch and not share…thoughts…ideas… It doesn’t calculate…doesn’t explain itself…sometimes makes me sick. Sometimes makes me feel like running away from all this ugliness. But then, why should I run away from them. Someday they will realize what they are missing and that day, I will be there…waiting…waiting for the look that they give me when I am still there after all their efforts to make me go away…when I refuse to give up no matter what…when I just don’t quit…just simply don’t quit.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The World thru the looking glass

I sometimes wonder if this is the life that we strive so hard for…if this is all of it…if this is the one thing that people will do anything for. I don’t get it sometimes, how people can want something so much that they don’t care what they’re giving in return.

I don’t understand the end of the bargain that we hold up. We give, we lose, we get nothing…We sweat, we waste, we die, we get nothing…We love, we hate, we want, we get nothing. We desire, we aim, we crib, and we get nothing. Doesn’t seem all that fair to me…does it?

I guess that there should be something that this life gives us. Something in return…something that would make all this worthwhile…something at least. I don’t know how it evens up…how all the zeroes make the one? Maybe, just maybe…it is not the life…but the things that it brings up with it. The things that it brings into our routines…the people…the places…the moods…the moments…the rushes…the senses…all of what we want, more and more.

But why? What is the point? What moves on never comes back but still we lie in the same place wondering when that bandwagon will stop again and bring us the things that we miss so dearly…things that make us hold on…we wait…we wait…and wait…until something else comes along…and life succeeds once again in doing what it does best….show us “the” finger.

In the most blunt ways…at all times that it can…it shows us that it owns us…our being… that it doesn’t care…not at all…not even a bit. For what it wants is for us to live it…whether we want to…or not. Makes no damn sense to live it then…but we still do and do all that it wants us to do…want in all the ways…ask the exact same questions…take the exact same path…seems like a story sometimes…only that in this one…the reader and the listener are both the same…just that someone else writes it…and makes the most of it…makes the most of “us”.

Don’t know why, how, when, where, till what and since when…but do know that it is not going to change, the same drag…the same games that we play…the same lines…the same cliché…every time….Looking glass, isn’t it? We see thru, and we find “us” on the other side…looking back…expecting that someday…someday…it wont be the same reflection…the same image…sometime…it will change…it will move and give way…

Seems like its going to be a long one…a long one indeed.